


The Mantra of a Desperado

by vindivher



Category: Gintama
Genre: Angst, GinHijiGin, TakaGin more like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-30
Updated: 2015-04-30
Packaged: 2018-03-26 11:25:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3849163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vindivher/pseuds/vindivher
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gintoki was pressing sin to his lips and he knew Gintoki didn’t love him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Mantra of a Desperado

Gintoki was pressing sin to his lips in blue and black and he knew Gintoki didn’t love him. His breath was poisonous, winding around the corners of his ribcage and all Hijikata could do was grab Gintoki’s neck and force him to intoxicate him even more. He felt drunk on the fact that he was nothing more than a replacement for Takasugi and he loved it. His bones disintegrated to revolve around Gintoki, Gintoki, Gintoki and he felt himself falling further into the disease called love. Even if Gintoki pictured him as Takasugi. Even if he would be abandoned when he was no longer needed. Even if, even if, even then he would continue to place his heart in Gintoki’s hand and tell him to squeeze.

Gintoki’s knuckles brushed his cheeks and tears began to fall and they were just drops of ink watered down by the rain outside. Dirty and tainted.

He heard a name that was not his, whispered above the rapid heartbeats that echoed through his hollow ribcage. Gintoki’s heartbeat was slow and almost not there and Hijikata flinched when the name was whispered yet again except louder and more like a mantra said so many times that it was torn at the edges.

Gintoki stopped and his nails dug into Hijikata’s waist but he willed him to draw blood and taint his fingers with the red but Gintoki pulled away and his eyes were wide and glassy. He took two steps back before he turned and ran out the door with sorry silent on his tongue. Gintoki hadn’t looked him in the eye.

Hijikata wondered if he had loved him at all. He stared at the red crescents on his waist, still warm from Gintoki’s hand and he felt his lungs collapsing. Suddenly he needed a smoke.

**Author's Note:**

> Hahahahaha I hate this ship so much hahahaahahahah! I like making Hijikata suffer ahahahhahh!  
> I'm joking ok i cri evrytem  
> No but really


End file.
